Dying Young and I'm Playing Hard

"I'm not old. I still have my legs, my force, and my spirit by God's grace. And I use them everyday. So I'll never be old."

That's what my dad just said to me on the phone. He turned 53 today. He said as long as you live

He's actually pretty hot.

young, you'll never be old. And those who have fully functioning bodies and minds but are too lazy to use them are the old ones. I've always admired that about my father. We've had a difficult relationship and differences that run deeper than I can even scratch the surface of in a blog post (or care to, at that), but he's always possessed certain qualities that I find refreshing.

He looks at life with such a youthful, if at times naive, alacrity. Everything is an adventure waiting to be had, new territory waiting to be explored and new experiences waiting to be memories. He lives life hard, with passion. He's more active and engaged than most men I've met half his age and can probably even still drink them under the table. He laughs hard, parties hard and spends every dime he makes trying to ensure that he never lives a dull moment.

In that sense, he's the complete opposite of my mother. She plays by the rules, never daring to go where she's told not to go. She keeps to herself and only ever does what she has to do, as opposed to what she wants to do. And yet, for a split second, sometime decades ago, they saw something in each other that perhaps they wanted to see in themselves. In my father, my mother probably saw a spontaneity she secretly longed to have. And in her, he saw an impressive and awe-inspiring level of self-mastery.

And they came together and bore a Libra; a balance.  A perfect coalescence of yin and yang. I like to think I'm the perfect balance of their opposing personalities, but I'm not. Not yet. I've struggled all my life with the two extremes. On the one hand, being too unhinged and unpredictable like father and on the other, too reclusive and inhibited like my mother. I've learned to tone down the wild side of myself but still struggle to ignite a fire in the tamer side.

"No one ever excused his way to success."

But my father is right. I've been out running and seen people three times my age pass me. I've heard people old enough to be my parents make exciting plans for the weekend while mine consisted of doing laundry and catching up on reality television. Life is for those who realize how much it's worth living. it only asks one thing from us and that is effort. We can sit around all day expecting our goals to be miraculously met, but that's not how life works. We have to get up and earn it. We have to take the initiative and stop putting things off. We have to go out and engage in the world, or as Chbosky would say, "participate." That's the only way to ever truly avoid getting old.

Oh, and happy birthday daddy...ya old fart.