Octo-Franco (James, That Is)

Classy. Perfect. Yum.

     Esquire Magazine has caught the Franco Fever and decided to one-up New York Magazine with a multi-dimensional feature of James Franco, appropriately titled, "Franco Eight Ways." The feature is comprised of eight different genres of work centered around Franco and his multi-dimensional life.

    The first is a series of five short videos made by Franco's brother, Dave, that show Franco behind the scenes, speaking and laughing very intimately with him.
   
    The second is a snapshot profile of Franco (which, compared to other Franco profiles, is slightly forgettable). Don't let this piece deter you from continuing, because it only gets better.
   
    The feature continues with a short, fictional, risible story entitled "Keep Doing What You Are Doing, James Franco," in which James Franco executes every role. (James Franco watches James Franco on television, reads about James Franco delivering a baby, defusing a roadside bomb, making love to five women. James Franco's roommate, James Franco, comes home from a four-minute mile run, smelling like cologne, and immediately begins multitasking. Humorous. Sends a clear message.

    The third part is a HILARIOUS poem by a person who knows nothing about James Franco, and insists not to be told anything about him.

    Part number four of this feature is called "Four Introductions to James Franco," written by Bill Hader of Saturday Night Live. Hader recalls four different occasions when he was introduced to James Franco. Need I tell you that you will be laughing?

    Next are visuals from Franco's first solo art exhibition. Not quite as interesting as the others.

    The Living Art Exhibit is the seventh part, where Franco is takes part in performance artist Marina Abramovic's live exhibition where she sat in a chair every day for seven weeks. Across from her was an empty chair where anyone could sit for as long as they wanted. Franco stops by and participates for just over a minute. (And, damn, does he look good sitting there!) Included also, is a clip of him in the documentary for the exhibit. Interesting.

    The feature concludes with a short story published by Esquire in March 2010, written by Franco himself. The story is titled "Just Before the Black." The story was panned by some critics, who called his writing amateur. The story is about the moment right before you die, and is really not bad at all, considering that it seems to be written in stream of consciousness narrative mode. It seems that critics might have some trouble looking at the dreamy actor as a serious writer, and that may be adding some bias to their opinions.

    The conclusion: It's a good feature. Look at it. Pick up the issue. Rip out his pictures. Put it on your wall.