Why Didn't He Call You, You Ask?

Hmmm....

     Just because you're hot doesn't mean he'll call. Just because he didn't call doesn't mean you're not hot. You may just be annoying. If you wanna steer clear of driving your date away, take this advice from dating coach Evan Marc Katz. It's the five reasons why he didn't call you.

Reason #1: You talk, but don’t listen


Women are sharers. It’s culturally ingrained. You may talk to your best friend or mom five times a day and think nothing of it. Every detail is relevant, and nothing can be left out in the telling of a story. Problem is, men don’t generally communicate that way. So try to consider the ebb and flow of a normal conversation. If he hasn’t spoken in awhile, ask him a question (and not a vague “So tell me about you,” which will make feel self-conscious and put on the spot). If he’s telling a story, try doing a follow-up query instead of refocusing the spotlight on yourself (“You like to travel? Let me tell you about how I backpacked through the Amazon!”). And if it’s occurred to you that you haven’t yet learned a thing about your date, try listening for a bit. It’s not that we’re not interested in getting to know you, it’s that we’d be thrilled if you were interested in getting to know us, too.
 
 
Reason #2: You use conversation as therapy


Talking about your evil ex-boyfriend. Talking about your hatred of your job. Talking about your strained relationship with your mother. It’s not that the bad stuff is irrelevant, it’s that it’s inappropriate. Being negative might be an effective way of winning an election, but it’s not exactly endearing on a date. Even if you feel compelled to touch on such subjects, consider your tone when doing so. And consider how you’d feel if a man were to share his inner turmoil with you too soon.


Reason #3: You’re a little too enthusiastic about him

It’s normal to get excited about a date with potential. It’s normal to consider what kind of husband that date might be. It was also normal to write your grade school crush’s name on the back of your notebook… but you wouldn’t show it to him, would you? Of course not! There’s an unwritten rule in dating that governs the energy flow between a man and a woman: when one party tries too hard, the other party pulls back. If a stranger has ever bought you a costly gift on the first date or called you seven times the day after you had coffee, you know what I mean. We’re not saying you should act cold; just don’t get carried away in front of him. Keep your projections to yourself until you have a better idea whether your affections are reciprocated or not.


Reason #4: Your idea of chit-chat is politics, religion and other heavy topics

So you don’t complain about your ex, your boss or your mom. But you have a bone to pick with the President, the U.N. and the Pope. Hey, if your date is up for a surprise appearance on Meet the Press, that’s cool. Just know that not everybody likes to swim in the deep end of the pool so early. Sometimes, you’re better off sticking with banter about favorite travel spots or good movies or even funny online dates from the past. It’s not that intellectual topics should be off-limits, but until you know where someone lands on the political spectrum, you may want to tread lightly.


Reason #5: You’re not relating to him — you’re testing him

Dating should be fun. Getting to know a fascinating stranger, sharing information about yourself to an interested date… these are the things that keep us optimistic about the process. Where it all goes wrong is when you inadvertently turn him into a defendant and yourself into the prosecuting attorney. “How long was your last relationship?” “Where do you see yourself in two years?” “Do you want kids someday?” The answers to these questions are really important — they may well determine whether you choose to see him again — but great dates do not occur on a hot seat or under a microscope. Try reading between the lines instead of asking him these things point-blank.


Ahem, now back to Franco.

10 Beauty Things That Guys Find Sexy

     As a woman, I know how it is to obsess over every damn detail of your body. From your hair down to your toes and every curve and jiggle in between. We're all on a constant mission to achieve the perfect body. The bad news: guys really don't care. They love the jiggle, the un-flattened hair, the chemical-free face, and even our embarrassing, oddball habits. If you don't believe it, the proof is in this list from MSN Lifestyle:

1. When you bare it all. Apparently, the average woman (certainly not I) spends about $200 a year on makeup. That's gross. But most men would rather see us bare and natural. Two guys are quoted verbalizing their disdain for lip gloss and all its sticky wonder. Other guys gush over how beautiful their girlfriends look first thing in the morning and when they've just gotten out of the shower. One guy even claims he was attracted to his girlfriend because she didn't wear makeup and therefore appeared as if she didn't care to be noticed. Think about that the next time you decide to torture yourself with that awful mess put on makeup.

2. Your belly. All those hours spent doing doing countless ab exercises in an attempt to flatten your belly, or "fit into your jeans by Friday" (as if) are wasted if you're doing them to impress your guy. Chances are, he loves your curves, the rotundness of your belly, and, yes....your love handles.

3. When you do that thing you do. Your funky little habits that others find unbearable, he may actually find adorable. Whether it's your terrible shower tunes, your love of celebrity culture (ahem), or your messiness. He may actually grow to love the quirky thing that makes you...well, you.

4. When you toss the hair dryer. And by hair dryer, that means flatiron, curling iron, and all other fancy hair products that take up too much of your time. He actually likes your hair curly the way it is. Now, I'm adding my own disclaimer for black girls: I give you....a free pass. Because the world will never understand what we go through and what our hair looks like sans treatment (and we don't intend for them to find out).

5. Your eyelashes. Strange, but it seems that the eyelashes may be the hallway that leads to the window to your soul. Men say they love women's eyelashes because it draws them into their eyes. Oh la la.

6. Your legs. Must I go on? Side note: I've been seeing too many women who bare their legs but neglect to shave. Please stop.

7. Your style! This one makes me particularly happy because I've always been ragged on about my style. You either love my wackiness and boldness or it makes you wanna vomit. But it's good to know that a guy will appreciate my desire to express myself through clothing, no matter how flamboyant. And your guy likes it, too. So you don't have to wear painful heels all the time or compete with Hollywood's leading "fashionistas". Just be yourself.

8. Your scent. Rawr. Men love it even more than we do! So next time while choosing a perfume or spray, pick a really nice scent that could possibly be your signature. He loves it when he can smell it on his sheets when you leave and how everytime he gets a whiff of it, he thinks of you.

9. When you ask for what you want. Men are not mind readers and they don't like to be treated as if they are. What is more frustrating than trying to figure out what someone wants when they refuse to tell you...and then they complain that they're not getting what they want! The best way to avoid this: be upfront and a little aggressive. If he's not doing the right things in bed, tell him what to do. He'll love it...and you will, too.

10. Your job. Not any job in particular, but yours. It may be that you work around kids, and he loves to see you around them because you're great with them. Or, that he loves to see you in your three-piece suit looking powerful and smart. Whatever it is, he loves to see you doing something you're passionate about and good at. It shows him you're intelligent, capable, and independent.

(Photo courtesy of Sue.)